nevergiveup21

Today I found out from the admissions counselor at Loyola Marymount University (which is where I want to go.. the only place I applied) that they have made a decision and I can call tomorrow and find out if I’ve been accepted or not. I didn’t even know you could find out by calling, I just e-mailed them to ask when we should be getting our letters by and they said that they made my decision and to call the office tomorrow. Well, actually today since it’s 12:20 am. I’m so nervous I can’t sleep. I want nothing more than to get away from community college, get my own apartment and start looking forward to things again.

My first year of college sucked. I went to San Diego State University and I hated it. Everyone partied and I don’t drink and I don’t like going to parties so I had the worst time fitting in. Living in a dorm wasn’t great either with a roomate who comes home drunk/high most the time. So I moved back home and I’m currently going to a community college in Torrance.

But I guess it’s not the end of the world if I don’t get accepted. I’ll save a ton of money, and I’ll just do another semester in community college until I can go somewhere else in the spring. But I’m so ready to just get my life started again and to look forward to something new. I got a 4.0 last semester and my high school grades were always great, but you just never know.

I felt like blogging about my worries. I can’t sleep. tomorrow’s either going to be a good day.. or a not so great day. We will see what happens.

I’ve had really good luck with trainers in the past. My very first one actually became my current boyfriend of 2 years First trainer I dropped 20 pounds (now I don’t want to train with him I just wanna kiss him haha) second trainer I lost about 10 and I’m hoping this 3rd one goes well. So I decided that my weight loss really hasn’t been going anywhere and I decided to shell out the money for a personal trainer. With me, if I know I’m spending big $$ I’m sure as hell going to do exactly what they say so I get my moneys worth.

Yesterday was my leg day and we did so many squats, lunges and butt blasts that I can hardly sit today, but I love feeling sore it’s a great feeling! Tomorrow we’re doing arms and stuff. I’m happy to have something new going on and she’s making me write down all my food which is great. I’m hoping that this works out well for me and I start seeing pounds come off. I haven’t done strength training in a long time so hopefully that’ll be another positive thing that will help me tone and lean up.

I love kickboxing and I love the music. But it was so loud tonight my ears are ringing and I cannot hear anything. This instructor was great but it was the loudest I have ever had an instructor turn it up to. I’m seriously thinking about getting earplugs for next week.

Today I bombed my math test. I left a full page blank and some more. As usual. ugh. So I went home and wasn’t going to go to the gym I was so depressed. But I told myself to go so I went to yoga at 5:30pm which really cleared my mind and this teacher even did an “ommmmm” at the end I’ve never had a yoga instructor do that lol. Then I punched out my frustration and was smiling during kickboxing like I usually do.

Now I’m gonna go watch last night’s America’s Next Top Model. If you watch the show, I grew up with Natalie Pack and we were friends in pre-school and kindergarden. But I know she gets eliminated this episode.

Let’s hope I don’t get the munchies tonight and eat some more even though I had dinner. If I would just quit eating now, for sure I would loose a pound.

I just had Japanese food with my boyfriend tonight.. as usual we ordered wayy too much and I ate too much but we worked out after. The good thing about dating an ex-Marine is that he makes me work out when I’m with him.

Yesterday I finally bugged my Dad enough and he helped me to get my TV working so I got to watch the Biggest Loser!! I walked 5 miles during the show. I didn’t walk the full 2 hours that the show is on but I walked most of it and did situps during the commercials. I think there’s only 2 or 3 episodes left and I’m going to be sooo sad cause it’s such a motivating show to workout to.

I also made it to yoga yesterday which was great. It wasn’t like relaxation yoga it was crazy yoga with mini-weights so I actually felt like I got a small workout in, not just stretching.

Tomorrow I’m going to study all morning and then I’m probably going to fail my math exam. But after that I get to focus on working out! If I drive fast enough from school I can make it to yoga at 5:30pm. If not I’ll just do kickboxing at 6:30. But I’m hoping for both.

It’s 12 am.. better go to sleep. Good night!

I don’t even really know what that means except to guess that it means getting back on top of things haha. I feel like I’m really motivated now and I should be able to put my mind into work mode like I have done in the past and get this weight off for my own health and for summer! Today I went to yoga and 24Lift which were great. I also walked a mile on my treadmill in the garage, but seeing as it was 100 degrees and probably more than that in the garage, I felt like passing out so I only did a mile. I think I should start putting up what I’m going to do tomorrow that way I have to commit to it.

Exercise for tomorrow:
-Yoga at 11am
-Hopefully if my dad helps me with the cable I can watch the Biggest Loser..my favorite show! in the garage and walk for the 2 hours that the show is on
-If not.. I’ll go to kickboxing at 7:30

I’ve been in Arizona for the past 4 days and just got home today. My Grandparents live there so my Dad and I drove to visit them for Easter. I’m now back home and my Birthday’s tomorrow! I’m so excited I figured after my Birthday I’ll jump back on the dieting again.

I’m loosing hope that I can really do this. I think maybe I’m just having a bad day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Lately my workouts have been better than ever! I’ve been getting a lot better at running and can actually do 40 mins on the treadmill non-stop. I’ve also been doing intervals which have really helped my endurance. Even when I was skinnier Icouldn’t run like this. My boyfriend says I’m looking better.. he’s an ex-Marine of 7 years and crazy fitness enthusiast so I’ll take his word for it.

 My birthday is a week from tomorrow. I’m excited to be 20 finally. I don’t know if I’ll make my 5 pound goal by then but I’m hoping. I started the Atkins diet yesterday, I thought since I love carbs and always eat them all the time, that maybe a very different change for my body would produce some results. So I’m hoping my weigh in on Saturday goes well So far I haven’t been that hungry which is great for a diet haha. I think the extra protein is doing me well.

 Have a great week everybody!

I’m making verryyy slow but steady progress. I’ve been trying to stick to a reasonable diet which is my biggest issue. Workouts? no problem. But put a plate of cookies in front of me and I’m done. I need to learn to tell myself no when I want something immediately. That’s my problem, when I want something I want it NOW. Like I’ll be eating good all day, then I’ll just be driving home and bam! My mind reminds me that McDonalds has 3 chocolate chip cookies for only $1 and I go through the drive through. My boyfriend is always telling me I need to be patient and to learn how to control my want of things immediately. I guess it’ll be just one of many things I will learn on this long, slow journey to a healthier life!

In two weeks it’s my 20th Birthday! When I first joined buddyslim my goal was to be 150 pounds by my birthday. I’m beginning to think maybe that’s a bit too much. I’m 157 right now, so I’m going to shoot for 152 by my birthday. 5 pounds in two weeks? I think it’s do-able I just need to work hard.

 I hope everyone has a great week!